Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Inexperienced Bride

I have a confession to make. Wedding planning scares me to death sometimes!

…and why is this, you might ask? Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret about myself.

I am inexperienced…at weddings. To date, I have only attended two (yes, count ‘em…two) weddings. One of them was my aunt and uncle’s wedding when I was a pre-teen, and the other was on Valentine’s Day this year (one of Justin’s best friends). So, as you can imagine…I have not exactly been inundated with ideas from the nuptials of others.

This is good and bad. On one hand, since I am the first out of my group of friends to tie the knot, I get to “set the bar,” or whatever you would like to say, for wedding expectations. I am the first to pick color schemes, bridesmaid dresses, etc, and I don’t have to worry that I’m copying someone else’s look. Although, personally, that really doesn’t matter in the end (I can say with confidence that no one’s wedding in my group of friends is going to be exactly the same…so who cares if colors or dresses are similar?).

On the other hand, I really wish that I had the experience under my belt of attending a wedding of a friend at this point. I feel so unknowledgeable in regards to etiquette, the order of how things progress throughout the ceremony and reception, and the like! My own wedding is going to be the first time that I’ve really been able to experience the full effect of one of these events…and I feel as though I’m going to be unprepared…or leave out something important! I sometimes wish that I had some friend nearby with experience in wedding planning to help me out (although…yay! My MOH has recently joined the ranks of engaged gals…). However, I do thank my lucky stars for the online support that I have received in the past months (Weddingbee, my fellow bloggers, etc). I am amazed at all of the creative ideas that I’ve stumbled upon, and what a supportive community I have found in the wedding world…its very impressive! I can only hope that I can inspire or help someone else the way that many of my fellow bloggers have!

So…let’s hear it…are there any other “inexperienced” brides out there like myself? How have you managed to find planning help/advice?


  1. Great read, I am sure you are not alone, there are countless others out there who feel the same way. Thankfully we have the internet which is chock full of great information. Best of luck with your journey.

  2. Coming from your wedding photographer and someone who planned his own wedding with about as much experience as you have with weddings (Before I started taking pictures at them and then the amount of weddings I attended multiplied tenfold ;) I would say my biggest suggestion is to write out a timeline for the day. Create one for you and Justin.

    Start out whenever the wedding plans start. Is that the rehearsal? The day before when you get back into town? Etc.

    Then as you write out each event that makes up the day (Waking up (Think about where each of you will stay the night before), makeup done, hair done, etc) write out what you will need for those events.

    Write out the things that will be all day at the top (Photographer, DOC) and then as other things show up, put them on the time line (DJ, Cake, Flowers, table numbers, linens, etc.) Put a blank line by them and then fill it in when you contract a vendor or find an item to fill it.

    Think about the little things. Like if you get dressed at the reception location, but are making a great escape by limo, who is going to gather up the clothes you changed out of? Who is going to get the gifts? Who is going to clean-up? Where are people going to park? How do they get from one location to another (Some are at multiple locations)

    As you continue planning, you'll add to this master plan and find new blank spots. By the time your wedding day get's here every one of those spots should be filled and you can hand the list to your planner and the day will go smooth.


  3. Ha! Yes. Prior to getting engaged I had only been to 2 weddings and one "hometown reception" thing. I'm insanely grateful for WB and other blogs. I took an event planning class in college and decided that's what I want to do with my life, so I sort of know what I'm doing because of that. But I knew nothing about ettiquette (<--I'm sure that's spelled wrong) or anything else pertaining to wedding planning. I think most brides just wing it, so we're definitely not alone :)

  4. I'm like you, I was just to a wedding last Friday and that only counts as three weddings ive been to! Weddingbee and wedding blogs have helped me so much. You can ask any question on weddingbee and someone is there to answer it, how great is that! I love planning our wedding and writing about wedding planning, but it is a lot of work and sometimes drama! I wouldnt change this experience in any way because it has helped me grow, find the true friends in my life, and learn about who I am and the woman I want to be. I cant wait to hear more about your plans! We're all in this boat together!

  5. Ok #1- Chad gives AWESOME advice! Thanks Chad!!! <3 your photog girl.

    #2... I have been to a few weddings but none that I've been in or been at all involved in planning. So the "um how do we get from point A to point B" part is hard for me. Glad we have each other to chat with about it!

  6. I'm right there with you! My moh is also planning her wedding right along with me. It's tough but so fun right?

  7. It works out. The cool thing is that since you haven't seen it all or don't know it all, you don't need to worry about following rules and traditions. I am a bride that does not like when people 'expect' something or say you 'have to do this or that.' I want everything about my wedding to be different, unique and unexpected...something my guests have never seen at a wedding before. So take it as an opportunity to start with a blank slate.

    As the things that you worry about like timelines, details, what needs to be done where and when, etc unfold, you'll find tons of ideas and support and answers on the net and blogs as you mentioned. :)

    And since you are a perfectionist like I am, just remember that ultimately it's about the marriage and love between you and FH...not the stress of what did or didn't get done. Though we will never be able to fully let that go from a perfectionist's point of view :)

  8. Thought I would share this link to a post I just added to my blog today in regards to those who feel unprepared for the wedding planning process :) Hope it helps someone out:

  9. It is so hard being the first of your friends to get married! Before we got married, I had only been to one wedding, when I was very little and I was the flower girl. I barely remember the wedding so basically I was going into my own wedding completely blind. Weddingbee definitely helps a lot!


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