However, in the days/weeks after our wedding, I've been going through an incredibly varied range of emotions. For the first couple of weeks after the event, all of our family and friends couldn't stop talking about the day. We reminisced about the fun we all had, and how smoothly everything ran. It was bliss.
Then a few more weeks passed. The online photo gallery became available to us, and the questions and nit-picking started to occur. I was officially depressed.
This is the thing: it doesn't make a lick of sense. We had a wonderful day, overall. The weather was lovely, Justin and I were able to share our wedding day with our family and friends, and the party was a fabulous time. So, why the heck am I upset over it? Here, I'll make you a list of a few things:
- I'm sad that it is all over.
- I'm sad that we don't get to do this again, ever. The planning (and the party) is complete, and you don't get to have a "do-over."
- I wish I would have made a few decisions differently during my planning.
- I wish I would have had more time to enjoy our reception.
- I'm depressed that our first look was only one photo, especially because that was one of the aspects of the day that I was most looking forward to.
- I'm devastated that there aren't photos of my bouquet and the bridesmaids' bouquets: I was so incredibly in love with them, but they didn't get a moment to shine in our photos.
- Was I the most beautiful I've ever been on our wedding day? No. Justin even confirmed this with me: I always thought that he'd say something to our kids like, "on our wedding day, your mother was the most beautiful I've ever seen her." Eh, I guess not (for the record though, Justin said that the most beautiful I've ever been to him was the first day we met...when I had no makeup and dirty hair up in a ponytail. It is cute that he thinks it, but kind of depresses me that I put a lot of time, work, and money into how I looked on the wedding day, and I didn't really feel that it was my best in the end.).
- Even though we will [eventually] go on one, I'm sad that Justin and I still haven't had a honeymoon (actually, we have never been on any vacation together yet...not even a weekend getaway. Nothing).
I think that during the wedding planning process, it is easy to become enraptured with the ideal. You and your fiance will have a stunning wedding and reception, you will head off on an incredibly romantic honeymoon, and then return to newlywed bliss...for eternity. Now, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but if you haven't already guessed, the ideal is not what most people are going to experience. Don't get me wrong; I love Justin, and the life that we have together right now is very happy. VERY happy. However, we definitely feel like we've missed out on a few things.
The most common question I get asked nowadays is "how is married life? Are you loving it?" I never know what to say to them. Married life feels...the same. Justin and I have a similar schedule to before the wedding. Sure, we live together now, but the two of us already had a routine that we were comfortable with. I guess I figured that I would feel a little bit different. And...maybe we will...when we finally get to have a honeymoon in some shape or form (aka spend uninterrupted time together to really enjoy one another). Or, maybe that "newlywed bliss" feeling is just something I will never have. I guess I'll have to check back in with you in a few months to let you know about that...
So, before my recaps officially begin, I just wanted to put these thoughts out on the table. Many Bees before me have talked about post-wedding depression, and I hate to say it...but it is indeed real. You spend months planning a huge, life changing event, and when it is over you can kind of feel lost. During the planning process I KNEW that everything wouldn't turn out perfectly, but it was all hypothetical at that point. Facing the realities of inconvenient timing, missing photos, and other various elements of the day is sobering. It is very difficult to NOT focus on the aspects of your day that aren't how you planned for them.
Anyway, what I am trying to say in the end is: realistically, there is no way that your wedding is going to be perfect down to every single detail. SOMETHING, whether it is small or large, is not going to be the way you envisioned. And...you are going to have to live with it. Like I said before, you don't get to have a "do-over" on your wedding day. For now, I am going to work on focusing on the wonderful memories that Justin and I have of our wedding day, because there ARE many. And, I'm going to get pumped up to share my recaps with you...because like I said, there are many wonderful things about our day that I can't wait to divulge.
Did you experience post-wedding depression? How did you learn to put aside the feelings of resentment for aspects of your day that went awry?